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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

You are not stupid.  

I'm angry and i don't know why. Someone who i watched online and reviewed games and imports. just another face on the screen. He posted a few videos and teased some stuff for upcoming videos. In his last video he was excited that he would be playing new stuff in a few months with the Vita. The He committed suicide. I have always been of the thought that anyone who kills them self was someone to hate that they were bad or something weak i dunno I just did not stand for it. I never really knew anyone who had done it so it was easy to judge but this man was a happy guy. From all the videos and in memory of videos that people are posting of him it was clear that he inspired them and was always a good person. and from watching more videos i caught this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tN60yFjO-g And its. i dunno I get the Mr. Rodgers vibe off it. He actually cared about everyone and he wanted to help people. He was sincere about it. This is someone i try to be and want to be and then i remember what he did and i just don't know why. i have no answers and there is no one i can really talk about it with. I don't understand why a person would do it and now I just can't understand it. And i don't understand why i am so damned mad or upset because i never met him and he was not someone that I always caught. But when i did it was always fun and enjoyable and he actually made me pay attention as it was something in his video that you wanted to pay attention. and now i am just I don't know A thing that keeps getting repeated is that there are no words to put this in perspective or to show how i can put the feelings into words and i have to agree with that. Over all I am mad at myself. For how i felt about people who commit suicide and for everything with him. he was just a nice man and I will actually miss him. A person i never met and only saw on you tube had an effect on me and that's something i never expected. RIP Justin Carmical.

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